Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Anything Is Possible

Anything is Possible is truly not just a statement but the truth. My younger brother who haven't talked in in a year out of the blue wanted to get my number from my mom to simply tell me he loves me. So I was shocked to hear from him but to hear the words I love you was even more amazing. Still I told him I love him but I know it wasn't the love that God wants me to have for him and all of mankind because I am still trying to figure it all out. I am trying to figure out love even right now but I do know that I care about my little brother greatly. I love his nieces like they are my own kids and I'll do anything to protect them precious girls. Nonetheless life goes on for me and I know anything is possible as long as I believe. Thus her and I will be one again because I believe it.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


As long as you there than I'm wonderful Lord. I have a Divine Obligation to God which is:
A. Every Christian has a responsibility to God.
     1. Responsibility as a Son.
     2. Responsibility as a Savior.
     3. Responsibility as a Servant.
B. Every Christian has accountability to God "he who sent me"
     1. Speech
     2. Action

"By your words you shall be judged and by your words you shall be condemned."

I have a Divine Objective which is:
A. Personal Receiving
B. Personal Revelation.

There has to be an acceptance in order to receive it. I have to believe it before I can receive it.

There is also a Divine Opportunity which is:
A. When we look at the urgency in the life of Christ, all time must be utilized redemptively.
     1. See every moment as an urgent moment.
     2. See every moment as a salvation moment.

These are the things I learned at Bible study but I also learned that "Truth is God not Man. Truth lays with God and man gets truth from God so we as people need to stop giving man the credit for the truth because it is God who has it."

Also one must do what God calls them to do even if they don't think they are ready to do it. God knows when you ready that's why he chooses us to do things when he chooses us to do them. So with that said, I know that this is my time to serve God and country. I might not be ready but I am ready now because that's what God wants me to do.

I have to act like the day I have is my last and I need to make the most of it by serving God. Therefore I'm no longer acting Holy, I'm trying to be Holy and God knows how hard I am trying. I'm using my life beyond myself because it all belongs to God and I am here to serve.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Gospel Night

The last two days have been gospel nights for me and it has helped me proclaim that I'm alive because God is helping me find the truth. It is truly a wonderful experience that I am embarking on but it is one that I am thankful for. I am getting my life back thanks to you Lord and I appreciate it all.

I'm Blessed

God is truly blessing me. I'm blessed each day I wake up but God is paving a way for me. The days ahead for me will be long and hard but I know that the Lord will be looking out for me. I know that my days ahead will not be easy but I will accomplish it all because God is showing me his blessings. I'm truly thankful for it all and I will never forsake my Lord again for as long as I live because without God in my life, I wouldn't understand forgiveness and how it plays a role in what love truly is. So I'm understanding that my blesses are another example of God's love for me. Thank God for all the lessons and I pray that they continue.

Well Done

I want to hear God tell me "Well Done" because that is what I am living for. I am living to serve God and country because this is how I tell God I love him and show God I love him by serving him. I want to hear God tell me "Well Done, you can come on in my son" that's why I am don't be to be served but I want serve for the rest of my life.

Can't Be Friends But I Want Too

Can't Be Friends by Trey Songz is a song that reminds me of my ex and the fact that her and I probably will never be friends despite the fact I want a friendship with her. I know that we moved way too fast in so many ways and we put each other above everything including God which only resulted in our E.G.O (Edging God Out) to get in the way of what we should have been. So I wish things were different but since its not, I have to just keep moving because although I know I didn't know what love was, I know I cared for her extremely too much that I would have risked my own life to prove my affection for her but now while I would still save her life or risk my life for her, I wouldn't do it to prove my affection for her but I would do it to simply save her from harm. It's like Trey Songz said, all I can say is, "La La La La La La" because its no telling what we would have been.

The Can't Be Friends lyrics by Trey Songz are displayed below. To play the Can't Be Friends video click the thumbnail.
Look what this girl … did to me
She didn't cut me off from a good good love
She told me that those days where gone

Now I'm sitting here goin' half crazy
'Cause I know she still thinks about me too
And it ain't no way in hell
That I can be just friends with you

And I wish we never did it
And I wish we never loved it
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now it ain't no way we can be friends

The way it felt no fakin' it
Maybe we were movin' just a little too fast
But what we've done we can't take it back

Now I'm sitting here halfway crazy
'Cause I know she still thinks about me too
And it ain't no way in hell
That I can be just friends with you

And I wish we never did it
Trey Songz Can't Be Friends lyrics found on
And I wish we never loved it
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now it ain't no way we can be friends

And all I can say is
La la la la la la la (la)
La la la la la la la la la (la la la ooh)
La la la la la la la la la la (hey)
Ain't no tellin' what we could have been
Ain't no tellin' what we could have been (no)

And if I knew it ends like this
I never would have kissed you cause I fell in love with you
We never would have kicked it
Girl now every things different
I've lost my own recoverin' my friend

That's why I wish we never did it
Oooh yea
And I wish we never loved it (I wish we'd never loved it)
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now it ain't no way we can be friends (we can't be friends)

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la

Sunday, September 26, 2010


Trying to figure out females is tough yet simple. That's why as I go forward, I am just taking everything in stride because I know that females are just a stepping stone to God getting me to see that I'm not ready for any relationship outside serving God and country. That's where my relationship is and where it will belong.  Therefore I am where I belong and need to be as I move closer to serving.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Greatest Challenge

One of the people I follow I twitter named @NinaBrown tweeted the following:
My gr8est challenge is to love others the way GOD loves me... even when they R not so Godly. Far frm mastering this, but I will keep trying.

It made me think and I knew I needed to hear that because that is one of the challenges I am dealing with as I try to figure out the meaning of love but I do understand love begins with God though. I realize more than ever that I could not have loved anyone in my life since I didn't love God first. That's why I know I was edging God out of my life by putting people and things above God and that should never happen. That's why the worst spirit to ever come out of me came to take out the last bit of what I cherished more so than God.

Now as I learn what love is and I know that love begins with God, I am learning to care for me the way God cared for me. I know that love begins with serving and a servant heart is the ultimate form of love because God served us. Thus, I must serve even those who are not Godly and I must pray for those who are Godly that they serve each other because that's what God wants from us. This is what love is about and like my twitter buddy, I have not mastered it but I am trying and will keep trying.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Serving My Country

If one does not love thyself and the Lord than how can they love thy country. Well since I don't know what love is, all I can do to learn love is to serve. So I am serving God and country. I just got into the army national guard and I am happy for it. This is a great opportunity for my life and I am thankful for it. I'm ready to serve.

Monday, September 20, 2010


I graduated with my MBA on June 19, 2010 from the University of Phoenix and although she was there as well as one of my friends, I still didn't think people cared as much about my day. Nonetheless, the video recording of my graduation shows me that people did care especially when the one I care so much about says, "I hope they say his name right." Listening to that left me speechless and in shock.

The Alchemist--A Fable About Following Dreams

Dreams, symbols, signs, and adventure follow the reader like echoes of ancient wise voices in "The Alchemist", a novel that combines an atmosphere of Medieval mysticism with the song of the desert. With this symbolic masterpiece Coelho states that we should not avoid our destinies, and urges people to follow their dreams, because to find our "Personal Myth" and our mission on Earth is the way to find "God", meaning happiness, fulfillment, and the ultimate purpose of creation.

   The novel tells the tale of Santiago, a boy who has a dream and the courage to follow it. After listening to "the signs" the boy ventures in his personal, Ulysses-like journey of exploration and self-discovery, symbolically searching for a hidden treasure located near the pyramids in Egypt.

   When he decides to go, his father's only advice is "Travel the world until you see that our castle is the greatest, and our women the most beautiful". In his journey, Santiago sees the greatness of the world, and meets all kinds of exciting people like kings and alchemists. However, by the end of the novel, he discovers that "treasure lies where your heart belongs", and that the treasure was the journey itself, the discoveries he made, and the wisdom he acquired.

   "The Alchemist", is an exciting novel that bursts with optimism; it is the kind of novel that tells you that everything is possible as long as you really want it to happen. That may sound like an oversimplified version of new-age philosophy and mysticism, but as Coelho states "simple things are the most valuable and only wise people appreciate them".

   As the alchemist himself says, when he appears to Santiago in the form of an old king "when you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true". This is the core of the novel's philosophy and a motif that echoes behind Coelho's writing all through "The Alchemist". And isn't it true that the whole of humankind desperately wants to believe the old king when he says that the greatest lie in the world is that at some point we lose the ability to control our lives, and become the pawns of fate. Perhaps this is the secret of Coelho's success: that he tells people what they want to hear, or rather that he tells them that what they wish for but never thought possible could even be probable.

Coelho also suggests that those who do not have the courage to follow their " Personal Myth", are doomed to a life of emptiness, misery, and unfulfillment. Fear of failure seems to be the greatest obstacle to happiness. As the old crystal-seller tragically confesses: " I am afraid that great disappointment awaits me, and so I prefer to dream". This is where Coelho really captures the drama of man, who sacrifices fulfillment to conformity, who knows he can achieve greatness but denies to do so, and ends up living a life of void.

   It is interesting to see that Coelho presents the person who denies to follow his dream as the person who denies to see God, and that "every happy person carries God within him". However, only few people choose to follow the road that has been made for them, and find God while searching for their destiny, and their mission on earth.

   Consequently, is Coelho suggesting that the alchemists found God while searching for the elixir of life and the philosopher's stone? What is certain is that the symbolism of the text is a parallel to the symbolism and the symbolic language of alchemism, and similarly the symbolism of dreams is presented as " God's language".

   It is also symbolic that Santiago finds his soul-mate, and the secrets of wisdom in the wilderness of the desert. The "wilderness" is a symbol that has been used by many great writers e.g.. Austen in "Mansfield Park", and Shakespeare in "King Lear". In the desert, Santiago meets his "twin-soul" and discovers that love is the core of existence and creation. As Coelho explains, when we love, we always try to improve ourselves, and that's when everything is possible. The subject of love inspires a beautiful lyricism in Coelho's writing: " I love you because the whole universe conspired for me to come close to you."

   "The Alchemist" is a novel that may appeal to everybody, because we can all identify with Santiago: all of us have dreams, and are dying for somebody to tell us that they may come true. The novel skillfully combines words of wisdom, philosophy, and simplicity of meaning and language, which makes it particularly readable and accounts for its bestselling status.
Book review by Anna Hassapi

Sunday, September 19, 2010


Mary J. Blige Roses is a powerful song that only confirms to me that I didn't know what love was but most of all that love isn't easy but it can be a great thing. Relationships ain't all roses but it is a great feeling to have. I have not had that feeling yet because I never knew what love was. I was taking to my ex-fiance today and I told her thanks for showing me what love was. She helped me find love which is where love begins and I had to finally tell her that she helped me find God and God's love although I didn't fully embrace it the way I should have.

In fact, I even told her that I didn't love her because how could I if I didn't know what love was and if I didn't realize what God's love was. If God is love than in order for me to love someone else I have to love God and understand God's love. That's why I know for a fact that I am not where I used to be and I don't use the word love towards anyone because it ain't love. I think I told my mom I loved her recently but to be honest, I didn't feel right saying it to my own mom.

Therefore I know that I have not grasped the concept of love the way I should have grasped it. I pray that God continues to work on me and show me his love so that I can show it others.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Keep Going After Your Dreams!

I met a lady named Ms. Maggie yesterday and she talked to me about how she is 74 years old and is going after her Ph.D. Her story reminded me that I should never give up on my dreams and I should never say I can't. Ms. Maggie helped me understand that if I am to fully understand love than I must first love the pursuit of my dreams. If one cannot love the pursuit of their dreams than how can they love. Love is essential to the pursuit of dreams because you must love your dream in order to want to pursue it.

Thursday, September 16, 2010


T.I. songs No Matter What has me reflecting on the dreams I had last night and this morning where people from my past reappeared who I want no contact with. However one verse T.I. says is that you must leave and let go, leave it in God's hands. Well I prayed to God about my dreams and asked him to help me understand them but most all I want God to continue to help me let go of my past so that my present and future continues to prosper.

I'm just living my life now and trying to serve my Lord with each move I make. That's all I can do now is serve God and his children each & every day of my life going forward.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Alchemist

I am currently reading a book called the Alchemist and I see myself in the book like I see myself in another book called Hind's Feet on High Places. Its clear to me that I am on a divine purpose in life and I am just now pursuing that purpose. I know why I had to lose everything just to get to where I am today. Its clear to me that I'm headed on a path to righteous and as I surrender to God that everything is shaping up to be a powerful transformation on my life. My journey is now.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Kill Them With Kindness

No matter how mean someone is to you, kill them with kindness. No matter how much people put up this persona of toughness and thick skin, continue to be kind to them no matter what they say to you or how they say stuff to you. Kindness goes along way and the Lord knows one's heart so please believe that your kindness is not overlooked. Be kind and watch your blessings come. Kindness is a key component to love and when you love someone, you should always be kind to them no matter how mean they are to you. Kindness is essential to love and trust that your kindness will rob off on others eventually if not sooner.

Monday, September 13, 2010

When We're Apart

When We're Apart
Vivian Green's song When We're Apart makes me really miss her. I wish I was with her and wish we could be together all the time. I never thought it would be so hard but it is and now I don't know. Lord help me understand why. Help me understand what is really going on because its hard and I'm yearning for her.


A part of me misses her but if I call than what will that mean. Will she answer, does she think about and feel for me anymore? I don't know but a part of me feels alone and yearns for her. I wish things could be different but I know they won't be. As I write Usher's "There Goes My Baby" is on and that's exactly how I feel about her. I wish she was here with me right now but she's not. I'm longing for her. I'm missing her and I am not going to lie, I want her badly. It would feel real good to call her my girl but I know that is not possible.

My heart is at a pause because I am really wanting to look at her. I really miss her because I wish it was the two of us. I'm lost in a way but I know that my confusion is only temporary and a state of being not the end  result of all things. I know that God is with me and I feel his spirit everyday inside me. I know that I want her and wish it was just the two of us but that is not possible, not today, tomorrow or anytime soon. The Lord wants me on a journey with self and I must oblige. I am surrendering to you Lord and I trust you. I am walking blindly to some but to you Lord, I am walking seeing life clearly.

Falling In Love with Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies!

I think I am falling in love with homemade chocolate chip cookies because they were calling my name last night. I ate 4 of them in about 15 minutes and I almost went back for more but I had to show restraint. I don't like chocolate chip cookies but those cookies were extremely delicious and mouth watering. It took my breath away and I was in a new state of mind. It actually made me think about what Perri Cole told me when she was making them, which is the cookies were being made with love. I laughed about it but these cookies were extremely on point and great.

Hmm....I'm on my fast still but I want to taste these cookies right now.

Sunday, September 12, 2010


All I know is that I feel exactly how Fantasia describes it in this song Bittersweet. I do get a flashback and sometimes I wish I had of stuck it out with someone but the reality is that I had to let it go in order to get to where I am at now. Its still amazing though, truly amazing to hear words put this way.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Forgiveness & Forgetful

Read these messages from bottom to top as they were written on Twitter and it is exactly what I've been saying all my life and what I have learned. In order to forgive someone, one has to forget and that's what I have done.

  1. drtiffanybrown 
    Allow me to give understand that you give to us on a daily basis.
  2. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    O Lord, thank you for this day. Help me to learn not only to forgive but forget.
  3. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    This will give you and that person a new lease on life,
  4. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    So today: learn to forget. If you willing bestow the forgiveness Christ gives us every day, be serious and forget what occurred as well.
  5. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    That’s called holding a grudge. All these activities do is ensure you will be alone and bitter.
  6. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    Many relationships have failed because one person or both people in the relationship can’t forget the past and move into the future.
  7. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    Like there is no history that you’re going to bring up every time you’re in the heat of an argument you can’t win.
  8. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    When you forget, you’re giving that person or situation a clean slate.
  9. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    I’m sure you’ve heard the quote “I will forgive but not forget.” If you can’t forget, then you never really ever forgave the person.
  10. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    You must allow yourself to let go of the hurt and pain the person caused. If you don’t, you’ll never be able to successfully forgive them.
  11. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    When you’re attempting to forgive someone, you must become slightly forgetful.
  12. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    Usually, it’s considered to be a negative attribute. However, I would like to give a slightly different perspective.
  13. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    Forgetful is being absent minded, neglectful, scatterbrained, and dreamy.
  14. Dr. Tiffany Browndrtiffanybrown 
    Today is about being forgetful.