Roses

Mary J. Blige Roses is a powerful song that only confirms to me that I didn't know what love was but most of all that love isn't easy but it can be a great thing. Relationships ain't all roses but it is a great feeling to have. I have not had that feeling yet because I never knew what love was. I was taking to my ex-fiance today and I told her thanks for showing me what love was. She helped me find love which is where love begins and I had to finally tell her that she helped me find God and God's love although I didn't fully embrace it the way I should have.

In fact, I even told her that I didn't love her because how could I if I didn't know what love was and if I didn't realize what God's love was. If God is love than in order for me to love someone else I have to love God and understand God's love. That's why I know for a fact that I am not where I used to be and I don't use the word love towards anyone because it ain't love. I think I told my mom I loved her recently but to be honest, I didn't feel right saying it to my own mom.

Therefore I know that I have not grasped the concept of love the way I should have grasped it. I pray that God continues to work on me and show me his love so that I can show it others.