Like Bishop Trotter in this video, I still believe. I'm like Job, I've lost everything in a year, some caused by own actions and some caused by things I can't even explain to this day but I still believe. I've lost my girlfriend, my family, one of my political mentors, my mind, my political desire, my goals, friends, and even myself but now I'm found. I've hurt many people and been hurt by many people throughout this whole year but I still believe. I've cried myself to sleep many nights and many nights, I've never slept. I've lost things that were important to me and might have never been important to others but I still believe. I've been kicked, stomped on and spit on but I still believe. I've kicked, stomped and spit on others during this year but I am trying to make it up to those I have wrong because I still believe. Like Job, I've forgiven and don't care about what inflictions people have caused me because none of that matters in my new life. I still believe and I believe like I have never believed before. I have found my home, I have found a new passion, I have found a new calling and yet I still cry but not tears of sadness but tears of joy and happiness for my Father, my Savior and the fact I am back in the Kingdom of God.
I'm new and I'm never going down the path or the road I just experienced. Names will not define me and words will not become me but my actions with my words will be who I am and what I do. I'm no longer who people thought I was or who people want me to be but I am who God wants me to be and I am who Jesus died on the Cross for me to be. It took 25 years and 8 months for me to really become who I am now. It took from being jobless and broke with no phone and living in hell for 2 years for me to finally arrive where I am now. Still I cry and man do I cry because not only did I lose my girlfriend, she was more than just my girlfriend but she was my friend, a calming voice in the midst of the storm and someone I trusted more so than anyone else ever in my life. Still regardless of that, I still believe that God will bless us both. God will heal our hearts and make hers whole for someone else and mine whole to serve him. I still believe and I will never stop believing because I know my life could be worse than it is now but its not and its because I believe.
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